Abstainer vs. Moderator & Emotional Eating

Yesterday I did a Facebook live with the owner of my gym for their weekly coaching call. We talked about abstainers versus moderators; what they are, strengths of each, weaknesses, and strategies you can employ in your health journey for each type. I did get a question that seemed to resonate with many, and that was, 'but what if you're an emotional eater?'

Emotional eating or stress eating is a common occurrence. After all, we're all so caught up in the busyness of life that food doesn't get the mindful attention it deserves. How often do you eat the last bite of your meal and then afterwards realize that it was the LAST BITE? And you have no idea where the rest of the meal went because you didn't even notice you were eating it. Hi, been there.

This same rush happens when we consume hyperpalatable foods, aka your standard junk foods, chips, cookies, treats, and more especially when we consume them in an emotional or stressed out state. Before you know it a whole pint of ice cream, bag of chips, package of cookies is GONE. This seems to plague those of us who are abstainers more often than moderators (correct me here moderators if you're feeling the struggle too!). I'll set the scene: it was a hard day at work, your toddler decided to pull multiple products out of the pantry and dump them into a pile on the floor, the baby crawled through said pile, it felt like your spouse wasn't on your team when you discussed an interaction you had with a friend, etc etc etc. Enter: food. Food has been comforting to humans for a long time, it naturally activates those feel good hormones in your brain, saying yes, ok, I feel better now! Unfortunately culturally, we have learned to turn to these comforting foods in times of stress or emotional turmoil versus actually facing those true emotions.

Breaking down emotional eating is a large task and one I won't attempt to fully cover here, although I WILL share my short answer that I discussed in that coaching call. (Here is my favorite friend who is always talking about positive relationship with food. And here is a podcast about emotional eating)

I think most people are self-aware enough to realize their type - abstainer or moderator - as well as recognize if they have a problem with either emotional eating or using food as a response in stress situations. If you're reading this, I'm going to guess you've put in the self-evaluation to recognize if this is you.

So here it is, if you don't already, know your type. Are you a true abstainer? Have you been trying to moderate? (Take the quiz here.) If so, let go of that mentality. You don't have to force yourself into the moderator box if that's just NOT YOU. Do you feel the stress from the day and reach for the chips when you get home? ...the ice cream after the kids are FINALLY in bed? If so, two things: distance yourself from those products and enlist HELP. Help needs to be a real, living, breathing human. If you have another person who lives with you, a spouse, a roommate, this is best. Have an honest conversation and tell them where you're struggling. If you need to enlist someone to hide xyz food in your house on stressful days or emotional times, do it. If you need to have a phone conversation with your best friend who lives in another city, schedule it. And then, the hard part on all of this, follow through.

I say this all the time to my clients, but food is hard. The more that we can be honest with those around us and with ourselves, just where we are on our journey with food, the more improvements we can make.

Are you an abstainer or a moderator? Do you struggle with emotional or stress eating? Have you found your triggers for those? What is step one of a plan you can put in place today to ensure success on changing these habits?